What in the world does grace mean? Unfortunately the Bible never gives us a one-statement definition. In fact, Jesus never used the word. He just lived it. To understand it means that we go back to an old Hebrew term that meant, “to bend, to stoop.” With the passing of time it came to mean, “condescending favor.”

Donald Barnhouse: “Love that goes upward is worship; love that goes outward is affection; love that stoops is grace.”

We use grace to describe things sometimes:

       A well-coordinated athlete or dancer.
       Good manners and being considerate of others.
       Beautiful, well chosen words.
       Consideration and care for other people.
       Various expressions of kindness and mercy.

Grace is that something, that emotion that enables us to act in a mature and godly manner.

Grace flows two ways: vertical and horizontal.
Grace flows to us from God and from us to others.

Vertical grace centers on our relationship with God.
Horizontal grace centers on our human relationships.

Grace is flowing.
Grace is flexible.

Grace is affirming.
Grace is authentic.

This morning we are looking at horizontal grace. Learning to live with one another through the grace of God.

We have been studying together for the last four weeks, the essential characteristics that made up the churches foundation, as found in the book of Acts. We have determined that prayer, unity, and community will be very much alive if a church is healthy. The church in the book of Acts was experiencing all of those things and it led Luke to include the sentence: “And great grace was upon them all.”

Dr. Vic Frankl survived three years at Auschwitz and other Nazi death camps. In his book, Man’s Search for Meaning, he reflected with these words:

“We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances.

And there are always choices to make, every day, every hour, offered the opportunity to make a decision. . .which determined whether you would or would not submit to those powers which threatened to rob you of your very self, you inner freedoms; which determined whether or not you would become the plaything of circumstance, renouncing freedom and dignity to become molded into the form of the typical inmate. . .even though conditions such as lack of sleep, insufficient food and various mental stresses may suggest that the inmates were bound to react in certain ways, in the final analysis it becomes clear that the sort of person the prisoner became was the result of an inner decision, and not the result of camp influences alone.”

When you and I practice grace with each other the standard of the Bible is very clear. We are to extend grace toward others with a positive attitude.

Three things that often hinder grace from flowing:

       1. When we compare.

There is a tendency in Christians sometimes that lead us to compare ourselves with ourselves. We often are very uncomfortable when someone comes into our church that is different in some way in their Christian walk. We prefer sameness, predictability, and common interests.

Sometimes the church has been guilty of practicing “acceptable norms.” We are too often quick to judge the poor person who stumbles into our fellowship and colors outside our lines of comfort. As humans we love to compare. We compare: musical taste, financial incomes, marital status. We compare spiritually on the basis of externals. Comparing is about judging which is strongly taught in the Bible that we should not do.

Comparison fuels the fire of envy. It prompts toward judging and prejudice.

God never intended for us to all look alike and be on the same page. The diversity of the early church was the very fact that they came from different cultures and backgrounds and in fact they were at different maturity levels in their walk with God. We must learn that God is hard at work shaping others lives as well as our own and therefore we can’t go around judging others based on where we our in our personal walk with God.

       2. When we seek to control.

Controlling others is an attitude. Controllers win by intimidation and manipulation. Grace is not being practiced when we try to control the lives of others with our list of do’s and don’ts. Extending grace to others means that we may have to come along side of them and do life with them. It may take us from our comfort zones and force us to accept others even with their flaws. Let me just teach here for a moment. I believe in this with everything that is in me however, I also believe that we should not use this freedom as a liberty to not grow in our efforts to be godly. While we should not try to control others or let ourselves be controlled we should also be striving to grow and mature in our faith and relationships.

       3. When we show contempt.

There is never an excuse in the heart of a Christ follower for showing contempt for someone else, especially another believer. To follow Christ means that we practice forgiveness. We must seek to live in harmony and unity with each other.

Let’s look at the Bible today to finish this lesson on grace. How in the world do we live it out with each other?

Four Biblical guidelines for practicing grace:

1. Accepting others means letting them alone.

“1Welcome with open arms fellow believers who don't see things the way you do. And don't jump all over them every time they do or say something you don't agree with--even when it seems that they are strong on opinions but weak in the faith department. Remember, they have their own history to deal with. Treat them gently.

2For instance, a person who has been around for a while might well be convinced that he can eat anything on the table, while another, with a different background, might assume all Christians should be vegetarians and eat accordingly. 3But since both are guests at Christ's table, wouldn't it be terribly rude if they fell to criticizing what the other ate or didn't eat? God, after all, invited them both to the table. 4Do you have any business crossing people off the guest list or interfering with God's welcome? If there are corrections to be made or manners to be learned, God can handle that without your help.” Romans 14:1-4 The Message

The problem in this moment in church history was not a meat problem but a love problem. Isn’t it always? Do you remember the popular tune sung years ago that stated, “What the world needs now is love sweet love.”

How often we practice conditional love. If you do what I say and act like I want you to act then I can love you and forgive you and build a relationship with you. I am so thankful that Jesus didn’t have that attitude while He was on the cross.

Most of us that grew up in church grew up with lists of things that clearly marked the sinner from the saint. When we got older we realized that most of the things on the list weren’t biblical or scriptural they were just the opinions of a person or group of people. Most of these lists were probably created with good intentions i.e. to help us get close to God! The fact of the matter is that when you start making lists checking them twice it is you that is going to be naughty and probably not very nice.

Paul mentions two reactions here to these kinds of conflicts. The bottom line of his teaching is that grace must be extended to others regardless of which side you are on regarding an issue.

“For instance, a person who has been around for a while might well be convinced that he can eat anything on the table, while another, with a different background, might assume all Christians should be vegetarians and eat accordingly. 3But since both are guests at Christ's table, wouldn't it be terribly rude if they fell to criticizing what the other ate or didn't eat?”

At no time do we have a license to judge others. God is the judge.

Two weeks ago I preached about practicing forgiveness now we are taking that a step further and calling you to practice acceptance.

Remember, accepting others means letting them alone.

2. Refusing to dictate to others allows the Lord freedom to direct our lives.

“5Or, say, one person thinks that some days should be set aside as holy and another thinks that each day is pretty much like any other. There are good reasons either way. So, each person is free to follow the convictions of conscience.

6What's important in all this is that if you keep a holy day, keep it for God's sake; if you eat meat, eat it to the glory of God and thank God for prime rib; if you're a vegetarian, eat vegetables to the glory of God and thank God for broccoli. 7None of us are permitted to insist on our own way in these matters. 8It's God we are answerable to--all the way from life to death and everything in between--not each other.” Romans 14:5-8 (The Message)

Refusing to dictate to others is to allow the Holy Spirit to do His work. We want to learn to practice this by allowing God to grow people at His pace. We should teach the principles of the Word and be very intentional about discipling people but ultimately we have to let God plant it in their hearts, minds and souls.

Chuck Swindoll suggested that we should refrain and refuse the temptations to be a brother basher and a sister smasher. Nothing catches the attention of those outside the church more than when Christians start beating up on each other.

Refusing to dictate to others will free us to not have to be the judge.

3. Freeing others means we never assume a position we’re not qualified to fill.

9That's why Jesus lived and died and then lived again: so that he could be our Master across the entire range of life and death, and free us from the petty tyrannies of each other.

10So where does that leave you when you criticize a brother? And where does that leave you when you condescend to a sister? I'd say it leaves you looking pretty silly--or worse. Eventually, we're all going to end up kneeling side by side in the place of judgment, facing God. Your critical and condescending ways aren't going to improve your position there one bit.

"As I live and breathe," God says,
"every knee will bow before me;
Every tongue will tell the honest truth
that I and only I am God."

12So tend to your knitting. You've got your hands full just taking care of your own life before God.” Romans 14:9-12 The Message

According to Swindoll in his book Grace Awakening, we are not qualified to judge based on the following facts:

We do not know all the facts.
We are unable to read motives.
We find it impossible to be totally objective.
We lack the “big picture.”
We live with blind spots.
We are prejudiced and have blurred perspective.

Not judging others does not mean that we will always agree but practicing grace means that we will treat each other with maturity and kindness. I don’t have to agree with everyone on the way they live their lives but I am commanded in scripture to refrain from judging others based on their differences from me.

As Babe Ruth approached the twilight of his career, he was playing in Cincinnati. He was now striking out more often than getting hits, and his play had deteriorated to the point that he was actually getting booed by fans. On one such occasion, after striking out, Babe was walking dejectedly back to the dugout amidst the boos of the crowd. Suddenly a small boy, tears running down his face, ran onto the field and threw his arms around Babe's legs. Ruth smiled at the boy, reached down and took him into his arms, talking to him as they continued to the dugout. The booing ceased. The crowd was so touched by this spectacle that they silently stood in tribute.

When we learn to practice grace we learn to love like Jesus.

4. Loving others requires us to express our liberty wisely.

13Forget about deciding what's right for each other. Here's what you need to be concerned about: that you don't get in the way of someone else, making life more difficult than it already is. 14I'm convinced--Jesus convinced me!-that everything as it is in itself is holy. We, of course, by the way we treat it or talk about it, can contaminate it.

15If you confuse others by making a big issue over what they eat or don't eat, you're no longer a companion with them in love, are you? These, remember, are persons for whom Christ died. Would you risk sending them to hell over an item in their diet? 16Don't you dare let a piece of God-blessed food become an occasion of soul-poisoning!

17God's kingdom isn't a matter of what you put in your stomach, for goodness' sake. It's what God does with your life as he sets it right, puts it together, and completes it with joy. 18Your task is to single-mindedly serve Christ. Do that and you'll kill two birds with one stone: pleasing the God above you and proving your worth to the people around you. Romans 14:13-18 The Message

What a great passage of scripture. What a lesson in love and grace. My goal is not to please me it is to please Jesus. My goal is not to please you it is to please Jesus. I don’t adapt my life according to what you say or think, I adapt my life because of my love for you and because we both answer to Christ.

Often I have witnessed people who gain freedom in a certain area of their live feel free to mock those who are more conservative over a certain issue. What a sad example of spiritual immaturity. We are in the construction business not the destruction business. A mark of Christian maturity is the ability to handle liberty without flaunting it.

Graceless liberty is religious childishness in action. We are required to practice love toward others regardless of their personal convictions or lack thereof. Paul writes that we should “single-mindedly serve Christ.” We are to focus our lives into conforming into his life. We are to be reflections of God’s grace in our relationship with others.

I guess you could sum all this up by saying we are to treat others as we would want to be treated. Sounds like a rule that is worth its weight in gold!

Florence Nyemitei received a new twist to the Golden Rule. This New York property owner was sentenced to live in the apartment building she rents to tenants. In December of 1997, the then seventy-one-year-old landlady, pleaded guilty to six violations concerning her property and was ordered to pay a $5,000 fine, plus put up $15,000 for needed repairs. She did neither. The tenants didn’t have any hot water, there was no heat, and because she didn’t pay the electric bill, residents had to string Christmas lights, using electricity from the next door apartment to illumine the hallways. On January 14, 1997, Judge JoAnn Friia ordered Nyemitei to spend at least four nights a week in her building for the next sixty days. The landlady protested the verdict and referred to her own building as a prison. She said, “It’s not fair to put me in prison at this time of my life.” One resident remarked, “At least she’ll have to suffer like the rest of us.”

When we have little regard for the Lord’s Golden Rule, we create prisons for those around us and cause them to suffer. We might more easily learn how destructive this practice is if we had to live in the prisons we build. What if we had to endure the cutting sarcasm that we throw at others? Would we want to feel the anger that we vent on other people? Could we survive the apathy that we show others? The Golden Rule calls for us to continually ask ourselves, “Would I enjoy the environment that I am creating for others?”

What’s so amazing about grace? The fact that you and I have experienced it from God and have the opportunity to pass on to undeserving people just like us.

As I watched them tear a building down
A gang of men in a busy town
With a ho-heave-ho, and a lusty yell
They swung a beam and the side wall fell

I asked the foreman, “Are these men skilled,
And the men you’d hire if you wanted to build?”
He gave a laugh and said, “No, indeed,
Just common labor is all I need.”

“I can easily wreck in a day or two,
What builders have taken years to do.”
And I thought to myself, as I went my way
Which of these roles have I tried to play?

Am I a builder who works with care,
Measuring life by rule and square?
Am I shaping my work to a well-made plan
Patiently doing the best I can?

Or am I a wrecker who walks to town
Content with the labor of tearing down?
“O Lord let my life and labors be
That which will build for eternity?”

-Author unknown

Romans 12:9-17. In this biblical passage the writer reminds us to:

“Let love be without hypocrisy .Abhor that which is evil; cling to that which is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Give preference to one another in honor; not lagging behind in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord; rejoicing in hope, persevering in tribulation, devoted in prayer, contributing to the needs of the saints, practicing hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and curse not. Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Be of the same mind toward one another; do not be haughty in mind, but associate with the lowly. Do not be wise in your own estimation. Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Respect what is right in the sight of all men.”

Philip Yancey wrote: "Grace comes free of charge to people who do not deserve it and I am one of those people. I think back to whom I was -- resentful, wound tight with anger, a single hardened link in a long chain of "un-grace" learned from family and church. Now, I am trying in my own small way to pipe…the tune of grace. I do so because I know, more surely than I know anything, that any pang of healing or forgiveness, or goodness, I have ever felt comes solely from the grace of God. I yearn for the church to become a nourishing culture of that grace".

Prayer:

Dear Father, for those who would wish to go too far with liberty, the restraint of love is hard to hear. For those whose lives are marked by lists, the expression of any freedom if hard to hear…even harder to see. Let us all know that we answer to You and You alone.

Make us understand that we should strive for unity in matters of faith, grace in matters of opinion, and love in all things! Lord, soften our hearts today. Lead us to confess our tendencies to compare and control. Make us live by the guidelines that magnify grace in our relationships with one another. Teach us that accepting others is basic to letting them be. Give us power to refuse to dictate to others, allowing You freedom to direct their lives.

Allow us to understand that freeing others means we never assume a position we’re not qualified to fill. Finally Father, make us understand that loving others requires us to express our liberty wisely. We do not deserve the grace we have received. Let us treat others with that same grace—even when we don’t believe they deserve it. Touch our hearts right now, God. Bring us to you for healing today. In the majestic and gracious name of Jesus I pray, AMEN.