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"Decisions, Decisions... part 2" One pouring night a man ducked into a taxi that happened to come along just as he walked out of his office. "Perfect timing," said the cabbie. "You're like Harold." "Who?" the man asked. "Harold Curry," the driver said. "A most memorable character. He did everything right. Like this cab coming along when you needed it. That's exactly what would have happened to Harold. He was always right." The man responded, "Nobody's that perfect." The cab driver went on, "He was a great athlete. He played tennis and golf like a pro and was a superb dancer. Harold never forgot birthdays and anniversaries. He knew which fork to use and how to taste wine. He was also a great handyman. He could fix anything. Me? I'm all thumbs." Soon they reached the man's destination. "That Harold was quite a guy," he said, stepping out of the cab. "No wonder he's your most unforgettable character." As the driver made change for the man he said, "He'd be yours too, if you married his widow."

After serving a self-imposed, two-year, moratorium on golf, Pastor Nichols believed he could once again handle the sport without losing his temper. His judgment was proven wrong by the twelfth hole. The dogleg around a lake cost him five balls and a dozen strokes. In total frustration, he ripped the clubs off the cart and threw them in the lake. He started marching off to the clubhouse and shouted at his partner, “You’ll have to finish without me!” Pastor Nichols’s golfing buddy spun the cart around and pulled up beside him. He told the pastor, “I can’t do that.” The irritated minister barked, “Why not?” His friend said, “Because you just threw my clubs in the lake.”

Proverbs 2:5 & 9 “If you want better insight and discernment, learn the importance for reverence for the Lord and of trusting Him. He shows how to distinguish right from wrong and how to find the right decision every time.”

Last week we began this message to try to give you certain tests or questions that you can ask yourself before you make decisions that will alter your life.

Let me remind you of the first three questions from last week.

1. The Ideal Test: Is it in harmony with God’s word?
2. The Integrity Test: Would I want everyone to know about this decision that I'm making?
3. The Improvement Test: Will it make me a better person?


4. THE INDEPENDENCE TEST

You ask yourself the question with this test, “Could it become addicting to me? Could it begin to control and dominate my life?” No matter how fun something is, if it begins to dominate your life and become an addiction, it’s a bad decision. No matter how popular something is, if it is addicting to you it’s a bad decision. No matter how good something is for somebody else, if it dominates your life, if it becomes addicting to you, it’s a bad decision. 1 Corinthians 6:12 “All things are lawful for me but I will not be dominated by anything.” I'm going to decide not to do anything that dominates my life. I won’t let anything master me, consume me or control my life

Why is this so important? Because whatever dominates your life eventually becomes your god. The Big Ten – God’s Ten Commandments – the first one God said, “You shall have no other gods before Me.” He knew how easily we could do this. He knew we’d get addicted to our idols. Who or what is on the throne of your heart?

We think of idols as that little stone statue people back then put up on a shelf and worshipped. But we still have idols today. We worship little symbols on our car that’s different than everyone else’s or on our shirt or the corner office. There’s lots of things you can get addicted to today. Can you become dominated by your work? Of course you can. Can you become addicted to sex? Of course you can. Money? Can you become addicted to the Internet hour after hour? Of course you can.

Today there’s over 2000 classified addictions. You can get addicted to almost anything. Some of us are addicted to food! You don’t hear that preached about very often. We love to talk about all the other things you can get addicted to but somehow most preacher leave eating in an unhealthy manner off the lists of do’s and don’ts.

How do you know if you’ve fallen into that kind of addiction? How do you know if something’s starting to dominate your life? The number one question to ask yourself is this: What do I think about the most? What is it when you’re alone, when you’re relaxed, you find yourself thinking about again and again?

This is hard for us to admit, the things that begin to dominate our lives. It’s very difficult for us to be honest with ourselves about this. If right now, in your mind you’re thinking, “This is not what I'm addicted to. It couldn’t be that.” Guess what? It’s probably that. That’s probably the thing that you’re struggling with.

Paul says, “I’ve decided that I'm not going to let anything control my life like that.” 1 Corinthians 6:12 in the Living Bible says it this way, “I can do anything I want to if Christ has not said no. But some of these things aren’t good for me. Even if I'm allowed to do them, I’ll refuse to if I think they might get such a grip on me that I can’t easily stop when I want to.”

Only Christ should have that kind of place in our lives – the first place in our lives. He’s the only one that’s worthy of that place in our lives. Anything else that we put in that place, will eventually dominate and control and ruin our lives. But when we put Him in that place in our lives, He is the one who encourages and enables and empowers our lives. That’s why this independence test, “Can it become addicting to me?”, is such an important question in making great decisions.

The fifth way to test a decision is…

5. THE INFLUENCE TEST

Will it harm other people? One of the biggest mistakes we make in life is we forget how much our actions influence and affect others around us. Everyday you are tempted to make decisions that may be the best thing for you but could have a devastating effect on the people around you. You need to take this fifth test, “Will it harm other people?”

That’s the opposite of our culture. Our culture teaches us, think of yourself only. Think of what you need, what your desires are. The truth is, God expects you to think more than just of yourself. God expects you to think of the other people around you. The Bible says one day you’re going to be judged by God on how your decisions affected other people. Not you but other people. Because God takes this seriously.

Romans 14:12-13 “Each of us will give an account of himself to God. Try to live in such a way that you will never make your brother stumble by letting him see you doing something that he thinks is wrong.” You may not like hearing this, but whether you like it or not, you are being watched. All the time. You’re being watched by other people. There is no such thing as, “All it affects is me.” That’s a lie. Everything you do has an affect on somebody else either directly or indirectly. We’re all in this boat called humanity. And if we’re in this boat together and I decide to drill a hole in the bottom of the boat, will that affect anybody else? Everybody else gets affected by the hole I drilled.

Those of you who are parents should be especially aware that little eyes are always watching you. Because of that, you want to be careful with what you say and do because you’re influencing not just your life but the next generation. So realize that your children are watching you.

You show respect for authority. If a policeman pulls you over for a ticket even if you think he’s dead wrong, you treat that guy with respect. Even if that authority is rude to you, you treat them with respect.

Because you know that your children are watching you, you don’t call in sick when you’re telling the family you’re going to the mall.

You don’t bring supplies home that you stole from the office to use for personal benefit.

You don’t brag in front of your kids about all the ways you’re ripping off Uncle Sam in taxes. And when you’re sitting there watching TV, and they’re in the room also, there are certain things you just flip past that maybe you could handle but there are eyes in the room that couldn’t handle it. It’s amazing to me, even commercials today that kids shouldn’t be seeing. The commercials take the raunchiest part of what the show is going to be about and turn it into a commercial. You pause there or in some talk show where some bizarre guy is defending his lifestyle and you think is weird. You’re not being blown away by it, you’re making a judgment on it. But the little kids are sitting there watching it.

It is appalling to me what people let their kids watch. Not just on television but movies. I see couples going to mature movies (which is an understated word). It’s ridiculous. Mature means nasty. Taking little kids in to see things that their eyes should never see. You are going to be accountable to God for that. You say, “I can’t control what my kids watch.” You can in your house. You can tell them what they can and can’t see at movies. You say, “They’ve got to make their own decisions.” After they’re out of the house. But as long as they’re under your roof you have a right to tell them what they can and cannot see. If you don’t, when you get to heaven you’re going to have a good time explaining to God why you let your kids fill their minds with junk. You’re responsible for that.

The influence question says, “How is what I'm doing going to hurt somebody else?” As a neighbor you need to ask, “Am I a good neighbor to the people around me who live next door to me?”

As a Christian you obviously should be interested in how you live because you are influencing other people.

People are watching you too. They’re going to be times in life when you get terrible service at a restaurant or some waitress or some attendant or clerk is going to be rude to you and every bone in your body wants to say, “Forget you, buddy!” You want to say something smart-alecly and be rude back to them.

But don’t do it. Because sure enough, right behind you in line will be the guy who sat behind you in church last week, who’s not a believer and is saying, “If that's what a Christian is, forget it!” There’s a word for it. Hypocrite!

You can’t just live your life the way you want to. You have to be aware of how it affects other people. That’s very important.

As best as I know how I'm trying to live my life in such a way that people will have to make up stuff about me to accuse me. That’s my goal and I hope it’s your goal too. That people will have to make up stuff about you because they don’t have any ammunition to use against you.

Romans 15:1-2 says, “Even if we believe that it makes no difference to the Lord whether we do these things, we still cannot go ahead and do them to please ours elves. We must bear the burden of being considerate of the doubts and fears of others.”

Mature people limit their freedom for the benefit of others. Immature people don't. Why do you do that? Because you’re afraid of what other people think? Of course not. You do it out of love. You do it because it’s the loving thing to do. The mark of maturity is that as you consider your decisions, you consider how it’s going to affect everybody else around you, not just yourself. You ask, “How will it affect others?”

The sixth test of a decision is what I call…

6. THE INVESTMENT TEST

Is it the best use of my life? Or even is it the best use of my time? Ephesians 5:15-17 “Be very wise how you live. Don’t live like those who are not wise. Live wisely. I mean that you should use every chance you have for doing good because these are evil times. So don’t be foolish with your lives. Learn what the Lord wants you to do.”

If you want to make the best use of your life, if you want your life to count, if you want to make an impact with your life, you’ve got to do one thing. You’ve got to get control of your time. Your time is your life. If you don’t learn to manage your time, you’re not going very far in life. You’ve got to learn to manage your time if you want to make the best use of your life. Your time is your life.

We all have the same amount of time every week – 168 hours a week. The greatest success and the worst failure in life had the same amount of time as you do. It’s what you do with it. Time is more important in your life than money. Far more important. You can always get more money. But you can’t get more time. You only have a certain number of days you have been allotted in this world and if you blow them, you’ve blown it! If you waste time, you’re wasting your life. If you kill time, you’re committing suicide. Your time is your life. You have to stop and say, “Is this the best use of my time? Is this the best use of my life?”

There are many activities that I do not do. I’ve chosen not to do them, not because they’re bad. They’re not. Not because they’re questionable or evil. They’re not. Not because they’re not fun. They are fun. But I’ve chosen not to do them, because I want to maximize my time on the purpose God put me on this earth for. For the life mission that He sent me here to fulfill.

If you don’t figure out your life mission, if you never understand your life purpose, if you never figure out why God put you on this earth you have absolutely no basis at all for your decisions. You’re making them willy-nilly. Do this today, that tomorrow. You’re coasting through life, cruising, skimming, surfing. You have no overarching objective if you don’t know where you’re headed, any road will take you there. If you don’t know your overarching life mission, your purpose in life that God put you here for, you don’t have a basis for your decisions.

If you want your life to count, it must be focused on a mission. Light focused has tremendous power. It becomes a laser. It can cut through all kinds of things. Light that is diffused has no power at all. And a diffused life has no power at all. The more focused your life is, the more power it has.

It’s important. The most important thing in your life is knowing Jesus Christ. The second most important thing is getting connected to a spiritual family. Third, discovering your life purpose. The first two will help you with the third.

You don’t have time for everything. The good news is this, God doesn’t expect you to do everything. He doesn’t. So don’t feel guilty about it. On top of that, there’s only a few things worth doing in the first place.

Effective people figure out what’s essential in life and what’s trivial in life and they spend more of their time doing the essential things and less time doing the trivial things. You can’t eliminate all the trivia in your life but you can reduce it. This sounds real easy to talk about but it’s frankly quite hard. It’s not easy.

It’s often difficult to choose between what’s best for my life and what’s easiest for my life. That is not an easy thing to choose. Especially when you’re tired. When you’re tired you don’t want to do the best thing. You want to do what’s easy. You don't want to do the right thing. You want to do what’s comfortable. That’s why if you’re really going to make something of your life you have to learn to get some rest. If you’re not rested, you’re tired all the time. If you’re tired all the time, you don’t have the mental, emotional, physical, spiritual ability to say “I'm going to do the right thing instead of doing the easiest thing.”

What am I saying? I'm begging you as your pastor don’t waste your life. Don’t settle for second best. Don’t go through life just existing, just copying, just getting by, just skimming through life. You were not put here in life just to coast. You were not put on this planet just to drift. God made you for a reason. He made you for a mission, a purpose. That starts by asking the question, is this the best use of my life? Some of you are trying to figure out God’s plan for your life. You’ll never figure it out until you stop doing some things that are taking up all your time so you will have time to listen to God. Don’t waste your life.

We’re going to do a little self evaluation right now, a little quiz. Let’s get a little personal.

One, the ideal test. Are you being tempted to do something that is contrary to God’s word? You know you shouldn’t do it but you’re thinking about doing it anyway. I have no doubt that there is somebody here thinking about leaving your mate. Don't do it. You made a vow to God. Are you doing the things that you know God wants you to do or are you just procrastinating? What has God told you to do? What do you know is a principle that you say you know you ought to be doing but you’re not? You’re making a big mistake..

Two, the integrity test. Would I want everybody to know? Are you exactly what you appear to be? Or are you living a double life? Saint and sinner. Sunday person and weekday person. Do you know how to act but you’re not living up to it? Does your walk match your talk?

Third, the improvement test. Are you filling your mind with less than the best materials? Maybe you ought to put a little governor on it and not let everything into it that you have been letting in.

Fourth, the independence test. What is out of control in your life? Your schedule? Your temper? Your words? Your habits? It could be all kinds of things that are out of control. What dominates the thoughts of your mind most of the time? What do you think about most? What is it in your life that you say, “I could stop any time!” but you haven’t. You can’t without God’s help.

Fifth, the influence test. Have you been considering how your actions may be hurting other people? Or are you just thinking of yourself?

Sixth, the investment test. Are you so busy that you don’t have time for the most important things? Are you investing your time in things that are going to matter? Or are you investing your time on things that aren’t going to last five years from now, much less fifty years or for eternity?

In a crowd this size there is no doubt in my mind that there are many people here this morning that are haunted by the secrets of bad decisions you’ve made. And the shame that you feel and the guilt and the regret and the remorse. Even as I talk about it, it all comes into your mind and you know what you’re thinking about. You think, “I wish I hadn’t done that!” Some of you have been unfaithful to your spouse. Some of you have had an abortion. Some of you have lied to protect yourself and worse.

What does Jesus have to say to you? Here’s what Jesus would say to you. “I don’t care what you’ve done, what stupid decisions you’ve made. You matter to Me. You are valuable to Me.” We have all made stupid decisions in our life, really dumb decisions that have been devastating to ourselves as well as other people. Jesus would say this to you today, “I love you. I will forgive you. I can restore you. I can even reverse some of the damage you have brought on your life and the lives of other people from your bad decisions. I will welcome you back home with open arms. I died for those dumb decisions that you made. They’ve already been paid for on the cross.

If you will come to Me and give me all the pieces of your life, the good, the shameful, the ugly, the parts you’re embarrassed about, just hand Me all your pieces, I will take your pieces and I will give you My peace. Not only that, I will give you the power and the wisdom to start making smart decisions the rest of your life. Not stupid decisions that cause scars and shame but smart decisions that cause satisfaction and significance.”

What a deal! Who could turn that down? The most important decision you will ever make in your life is this, who’s going to call the shots in your life? You or God? You’re not doing a very good job of it. That’s why you have so many problems and so much stress in your life. Give it to God.

Sometimes we think that we have to make our decisions and that life is all about us. Can I just remind you for a moment that God made a decision along time ago about you and me? While we are in the midst of our decisions lets remember that God made a decision to love us and let His Son die that we might live. He chooses us.

Entertainer Garrison Keillor recalls the childhood pain of being chosen last for the baseball teams:The captains are down to their last grudging choices: a slow kid for catcher, someone to stick out in right field where nobody hits it. They choose the last ones two at a time—"you and you"—because it makes no difference. And the remaining kids—the scrubs, the excess—they deal for us as handicaps. "If I take him, then you gotta take him," they say.Sometimes I go as high as sixth, usually lower. But just once I'd like Darrel to pick me first and say, "Him! I want him! The skinny kid with the glasses and the black shoes. You, c'mon!" But I've never been chosen with much enthusiasm.Did you ever think about the fact that you are so valuable to God he chose you early—with enthusiasm. "For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight" (Ephesians 1:4 [NIV]). Van Morris, Shepherdsville, Kentucky; source: Robert Russell, The Southeast Christian Church Outlook (June 8, 2000), Louisville, Kentucky

God made a decision. He decided for you. What kind of decisions are you making?

2004/02/22