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Building the Church through Unity: Practicing forg I Sam. 24:1-8

On life’s journey we all face crossroads. Jacquie deKroon’s major crossroads came at age 15. Sometime during the wintry night of January 25, 1987, she woke, vaguely aware of a flicker of light smoke and an unusual sensation heat in her room. Completely dazed, with warm blood dripping from her face, she staggered and crawled towards her bedroom door, down the hall through the heat and flames and out the front door; escaping with only her life. Listen to her own words:

”That night changed the direction of my life’s journey. Three drugged and intoxicated men intruded our home, beat my parents and myself, and killed my mother. The intruders proceeded to douse the beds and floors with gasoline and set on fire our house, leaving us all for dead. While my father and I were able to flee the inferno, my mother succumbed to the beating injuries. The intruders were apprehended. Two were friends of my brother and the third was my brother himself, my only sibling. Fourteen months later all were found guilty of the 1st degree murder and sentenced to life in prison without eligibility for parole for 25 years. The courts gave them all a life sentence.

They received their just sentence under the law, but I too received a sentence. My life’s journey had been redefined. One can never fully understand how and why circumstances worked together to produce so much tragedy and pain. A combination of anger, jealousy, drugs, negative peer influences and the sin nature concocted a deadly potion of disaster in my brother and the other perpetrators. My mom’s death and the pursuing circumstances left me aching and vulnerable with a void that longed filling. During my recuperation, I was invited to attend a youth group at a local church and a year later, January 1988; I professed my faith in Christ. It came to me that the Holy Spirit had breathed life into my unconscious body that night of terror and I received a second chance to live. Now I wanted to serve my Lord and discover His purposes for me.

In the safety of my new relationship with Jesus, I soaked up His word and drank deeply from His “living water”. At first the words of Matthew 6:14 stung my heart. “For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.” I found it incredible to believe that God meant ME to forgive the perpetrators, my brother. Didn’t He know what they had done and the hurt they had caused? As I continued to nurse my pain and invest energy into hating my offenders, I soon realized that my anger and hatred became all consuming. Later the Spirit revealed that Christ gave His life for my sins after He was betrayed and beaten. He suffered and died on my behalf. I knew that God had forgiven me, and I wanted to continue to be forgiven; therefore, in obedience I had to forgive. I walked into the prison to visit my brother, allowing the words of forgiveness to escape from my mouth, setting free my brother and me. I told him of my love for Jesus. I had to the power to forgive and set them free because Christ forgave and set me free.

Several years later the Holy Spirit brought to my attention that although I had forgiven the other offenders one more step needed to take place. They too need to hear the powerful words of forgiveness. The Restorative Justice committee offered to facilitate a meeting whereby I had the opportunity to offer forgiveness to the others, sharing with them that my forgiveness has come only from the changes that Jesus Christ made in my heart. I’ve learned that God forgives instantly, but with me, He allows it to be a process. I know the process has been successful when my heart is filled with “the peace that passes all understanding”. I feel pure, without rage, anger, or bitterness, but a genuine sense of love for all three of the offenders that only comes from Jesus.

Thirteen years later, I had the opportunity to put feet and hands to my forgiveness. My mother had two rings and since her death, both had been in my personal possession. I knew one had been meant for my brother. One day I felt God nudging me to offer him the ring. At the first opportunity, I brought up the subject, offering him our mother’s sapphire ring. His response was from the heart. He wept and through tears he said, “I didn't know you cared about me this much.” Tears rolled down my cheeks and I responded, “I love you.” This situation reminds me of another story, found in the Bible (Luke 15:19-22). Jesus uses the illustration of a family ring as a symbol of unconditional love and forgiveness when a wayward “prodigal son” is reinstated with his family. We too, are not worthy to be reinstated to God’s family. But because of the power of Christ’s blood, shed on our behalf for our sin, He gives us the power to forgive – He gives us the power to change. There is no greater love than this.”Chuck Swindoll said it best: “Forgiveness is not an elective in the curriculum of servant-hood. It is a required course and the exams are always tough to pass.”

Make a statement about last week’s sermon and the fact that this is the second part of that message. It is preventive maintenance.

It’s a story found in the Old Testament book of I Samuel. Saul was the first King of Israel. He was a man chosen by God. He was given an incredible opportunity to be the King of Israel and lead God’s chosen people. Through acts of disobedience in his life Saul began to loose the blessing of God from his life. He was painfully aware that David, a young man who had gained national attention for the slaying of the giant Goliath and for his military abilities would succeed him as King.

King Saul became consumed with jealousy and hatred for David. When he had the chance he would go out hunting for David and try to kill him. In the story that we are going to look at this morning there is a very valuable lesson for all of us to learn about the importance of forgiveness.

Read scripture: 1 Sam. 24:1-8

Prayer: Open the eyes of our heart Lord.

1. Personal hurt often drives our actions and reactions.

David was being hunted.
He had been treated wrongly, judged harshly, criticized unfairly and had definite death threats against him from one man, King Saul.
He knew that Saul would kill him if given the chance.

It is often in the midst of our personal hurts and wounds that we act or react to others in ways that are not in harmony with the Bible. The Bible is very clear about practicing forgiveness. It is not an option. It is something we all must learn to do.

It is very easy to justify mistreating someone because of the way they have mistreated you. How many of you know that is not an option for a Christ follower?

Sometimes we will get bad advice from our “friends.” That is what happened to David. Look at verse four.

“The men said, This is the day the Lord spoke of when he said to you, ‘I will give your enemy into your hands for you to deal with as you wish.’” I Sam. 24:4

When and where in scripture did God ever say that you and I could do to someone as we wished? What a great world that would be. We could all just take matters into our own hands whenever and wherever we wanted. I know some people who think that way and frankly they are not very much fun to be around. In fact, I would just as soon avoid contact if possible.

Some people are a little like the woman summoned for jury duty who said to the Judge, "Your Honor, I can't serve on a jury. I don't believe in capital punishment." The judge said, "Ma'am, this isn't a capital charge so that doesn't matter. This is a case where a husband emptied out the wife's savings account of $14,000 to take a three-day weekend with his girlfriend in Atlantic City." The woman said, "Okay, I'll serve. And I could be wrong about capital punishment."

Is that how we respond to others wrongs? Not if we are practicing forgiveness.

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Eph. 4:32

“Forgive and you will be forgiven.” Luke 6:37

“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly love, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” Col. 3:12-13

The writer of the book of Hebrews reminded us: “See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.” Heb. 12:13

Bitterness and unforgiveness kills Churches, communities and even whole countries.

God dealt with David and he knew that what he had done was really wrong. We all know what that feels like don’t we. We all know when we are acting or behaving in a way that is inconsistent biblical principle.

2. Pride keeps a lot of people from taking responsibility when it comes to forgiveness.

“Afterward David was conscience-stricken for having cut off a corner of his robe.” I Sam. 24:5

The conscience plays a huge role in being sensitive about forgiveness. We cannot brush over it or ignore it. Unforgiveness will overshadow everything we attempt to do. You may sing, teach work in the ministry of the church somewhere, you may even preach but with bitterness and unforgiveness in your heart it will always be a hindrance.

David’s example as tough as it must have been is a touching an incredible example for us to follow.

“Then David went out of the cave and called out to Saul, ‘My lord the king!’ When the king looked behind him, David bowed down and prostrated himself with his face to the ground.” I Sam. 24:8

A little boy was sitting on a park bench in obvious pain. A man walking by asked him what was wrong and the young boy said, “I’m sitting on a bumble bee.” The man urgently asked, “Then why don’t you get up?” The boy replied, “Because I figure I’m hurting him more than he is hurting me!” How many of us handle forgiveness like this little boy? We endure pain for the sadistic satisfaction of believing we are hurting them more than us. When we get off the bench of unforgiveness, both parties can begin to realize relief from their pain. The 911 Handbook, Kent Crockett, Hendrickson Publishers, 1997, p. 43

3. Practicing forgiveness: God’s principles revealed.

The New Testament is very plain about how we are to handle forgiveness in the church. In fact, it is uncomfortably plain. Please understand that this is forgiveness in the church.

I want to answer two major questions about forgiveness:

1. What is our responsibility when we have offended someone?

Math. 5:23-24, “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.”

You know how this works. You come to worship God. Worship is what we do with our life on a daily basis. You come to serve God and remember that you have done something to someone else that was offensive. How do you handle it? Do you pray around it? Do you try to forget it? Do you just act like nothing happened? Absolutely not!

You and I are instructed by Jesus Himself to go and get it taken care of.

Car illustration.

2. What is our responsibility when we have been offended?

As I said before this message is preventive maintenance.

As more of interact with each other in small groups and ministry teams around the church the possibility for dissension will grow. We will not always see everything alike. We will sometimes disagree. The question that will become critical will be how do we plan on handling those issues?

Math. 18: 15, “If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.”

What does this mean?

1. You are to go even when the other person is guilty.
2. You are forbidden in scripture from talking to someone else about it.
3. If reconciliation does not happen you may involve a few other mature believers. (Tell what this doesn’t look like.)
4. It may mean church discipline.

Eph: 4:2-3, “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.”

What do we do with this whole subject of forgiveness?
What do you need to do today?
I want you to hear what I am about to say. Forgiveness will not be easy.
In fact, for some of you it will take lots of prayer and seeking God.
For some of us we can take care of things with a phone call this afternoon.

The question is, will you take care of business?

In his book, Lee: The Last Years, Charles Bracelen Flood reports that after the Civil War, Robert E. Lee visited a Kentucky lady who took him to the remains of a grand old tree in the front of her house. There she bitterly cried that its limbs and trunk had been destroyed by Federal Artillery fire. She looked to Lee for a word condemning the North or at least sympathizing with her loss.

After a brief silence, Lee said, “Cut it down, my dear Madam, and forget it.”

It is better to forgive the injustices of the past than to allow them to remain, let bitterness take root, and poison the rest of our life.

2003/11/23